The Spanish Way of PDA

I was invited to my first dinner party today. I felt super excited at my first opportunity to really mingle with the Spaniards on a more personal level. Angela picked me up on a street corner near my house because its hard for cars to get to my house due to the narrow, cobblestone, one-way streets. I know she invited me out of sympathy, but once again.. I'll take it. When we arrived, no one was home. But soon the amigos began to pour in. I am still amazed at how affectionate everyone is here. They hug and kiss eachother constantly. I kinda like it though. Its nice that people can be affectionate without people thinking strange things and questioning their sexuality. What I noticed is that everyone there was intellectual. They talked way over my head in terms of my Spanish ability and everyone had a degree already or one in the works. 3 of the 7 were working on forestry engineering degrees. My new friend Angela told her roomate that I was interested in an intercambio because I had told her that I wanted to learn to play the guitar, especially that of the flamenco nature. She said he might be interested in practicing his English and thus an intercambio was born. He can't start til the 15 of November but I am looking forward to that intercambio because he is in a band and teaches flamenco guitar already. So....we will do a half hour in English and then a half hour of guitar lessons after that. Now, I just need to buy a guitar. Man am I gonna be poor. But it will pay off later when my Spanish improves and I am playing flamenco style acoustic. He also said something about electric guitar. Okay!!! Anyhow, I hope THAT works out. These people are all very interesting with most of them having spent time living abroad in other countries. And its so funny how affectionate they are. I just love it. I hope I can learn from them. The U.S. is so stuffy and cold and put off by PDA or showing any kind of affection. Here they ALWAYS give the dos besos when you meet someone or say hello or goodbye. They go left to right, ALWAYS to prevent the accidental lip lock. And then girlfriends hug each other forever like they haven't seen each other in years and the men always grab each other by the head and pull in for a big hug even if they saw each other last week. Its really endearing. Kids walk hand and hand with their parents, old ladies walk arm and arm with each other. Old couples always walk hand in hand down the street as if ther;re still in love. Everyone is VERY touchy feely. In fact, I sense that they sense my coldness. I've had lots of people ask me if I am okay with the dos besos or tell me "no handshake here" or ask me if its okay to hug me since I am american. They know that americans are distant. We have a reputation for being cold and not spending time with our children apparently. But I can't say that they're wrong. I am trying to come across less icy but its hard when its so engrained to be weirded out by affection. But its not a weird affection that they show. Its kind of like how children are...they lay on each other, the hold hands with the same sex, they put their arms around each other, they hug for a long time. I think it is a natural way of feeling and being. I think we have just gotten away from it for some reason in the U.S.



Another thing that I thought was interesting was that we all sat around a little table full of food and ate out of the same dishes. Nobody had plates. They asked me, the americana, if I wanted one because they know our way of doing things but I said "no" that I didn't care. And we all had a fork and bread and ate out of the same big dishes of potato salad, a scramble, a cheese plate, chorizo, garbanzo and spinach dish, etc. We all just took forkfulls as we felt like from whatever dishes, germs and all. I ate ,but mostly sat and observed. I wanted to participate but they were talking so fast and with that Andalucian accent that I couldn't keep up. I have been here a month and I almost feel as though my Spanish is worse. How can that be? I really don't know. Maybe an overload of information, maybe intimidation, I have no idea but its true. I feel like a shy, pathetic, little, helpless child right now and I am thankful for any sympathy and help that I can get. I just can't wait to start feeling more confident. God speed.